:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
