As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
