oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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