ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
