Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
