You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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