So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
