i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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