i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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