have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
