yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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