So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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