If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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