That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
