Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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