Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
