the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
