I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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