i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
