we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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