There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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