Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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