My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
