guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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