well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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