oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I have already put on my inside pants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
