the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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