I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
