If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
