It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
