is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
