Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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