I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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