I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
