My nipple is on Facebook.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
