Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
