My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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