She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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