You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
