Already got asked if we're dating
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
