i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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