that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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