Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.