So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.