Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?