If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
