Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just had sex on a roof
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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