There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
