I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
