i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
