dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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