We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
