i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
