I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
