Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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