Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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