i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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