Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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