They should really pass out barf bags in church
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
