ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Everclear isn't food dammit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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