I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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